I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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