Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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