I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
