Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
