I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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