I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
