Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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