So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
