And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize