dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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