dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
