woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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