she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
