what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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