got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
