please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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