brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
