If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize