Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize