hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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