this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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