It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
