I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
