You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
