so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
