When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize