Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
