How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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