True but thats because hes a fetus.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize