ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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