I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
