I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
