I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
