y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
