3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
