Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
