he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
