That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
