she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We left the knife in your bed.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
