He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Girls should come with a carfax report
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
