you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
