Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
