My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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