I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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