I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
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I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
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My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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