glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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