i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
