Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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