Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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