He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
