...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Operation Purity has been aborted
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize