oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
