my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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