Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
