Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
