I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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