I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Randomize
