well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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