my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
