Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
